


Freestyle

by AlphaStarr



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Love Confessions, M/M, Romance, rapping, requited or unrequited?, the world may never know, this was written for V-day, why is AO3 so hard to work with?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-28
Updated: 2012-02-28
Packaged: 2017-10-31 20:41:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/348176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlphaStarr/pseuds/AlphaStarr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dirk confesses his love for Jake. In rap form. Then stuff happens-- oceans rise, cities fall, and volcanoes erupt. Especially the last one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Freestyle

**Author's Note:**

> Written a couple weeks ago for Valentines Day. I only just now figured out how AO3 works.
> 
> Er, so, I should probably disclaim any ownership to Homestuck. Obviously. I am not Andrew Hussie.
> 
> This fic, however, is mine. The original posting of it is found at http://alpha-starr.tumblr.com/post/17642374302/freestyle

 

##  [](http://alpha-starr.tumblr.com/post/17642374302/freestyle)

His heart was pounding in spite of his cool façade.

Not for the first time, Dirk Strider considered aborting the Plan he’d been working on for the past few months.

But that would be unironic and cowardly, his auto-responder reminded him, angry red text splaying itself on his shades. He’d worked too hard and had waited too long to give everything up now, AR explained in a wall of blazingly bright vermillion. The obnoxious program accosted him with messages until he tore the glasses off his face.

That was fine. He didn’t need any shades to hide behind, not now when he was  about to bare his heart anyways. No ironic barrier would be enough to spare him the sheer vulnerability of the position he was about to put himself in.

“Dirk!” an accented voice called from but ten feet away. “Golly, how did you get up here?”

“I alchemized something to make the ascent a little easier,” Dirk shrugged. He suspected that the crappy Unreal Air ™ Skateboad he’d alchemized from one of his brother’s equally crappy jpeg posters was currently floating off into the stratosphere. “Sup, bro.”

He saw Jake smile dorkishly and then his heart melted again. Shit, why did English have to pick now of all times to be so fucking uber kawaii desu desu? Strider wiped his sweaty palms on the sides of his pants.

“Gee whiz, Dirk!” Jake grinned again. “Now we can enter the Medium together, right? Absolutely smashing! I couldn’t think of a better chap to start off the game with!”

“Yeah, sure,” Dirk nodded as nonchalantly as he could while his internal BPM escalated with nervousness. He tried to calm himself by taking a deep breath; the beat of his heart might throw off his meter.

“Wow, hey, you aren’t wearing your glasses!” Jake suddenly realized, babbling on obliviously. “Your eyes are really awesome! Hey, you know, I think that this is going to be the bee’s knees! Absolutely amazing!”

“Well, before we start our adventure,” Dirk hesitated, drawling out the “adventure” with a slight Texan twang simply to prolong it. It was now or never. “I’ve got something I have to say to you.”

“Rightio, old chap,” Jake conceded, finally calming down. He added, as if an afterthought, “Do try to hurry; I think that the volcano we’re standing on may erupt soon.”

“No prob, bro,” Dirk swiftly uncaptchalogued his boom-box and started up the mix, trying his best to calm his heart down to the beat.

Jake humored his best friend’s sudden, seemingly inexplicable urge to rap.

“Yo, this is DJ Strider comin’ out to you  
And let me tell you right now that I’m speaking the truth  
No lies, no riddles, no hiding the facts  
Let me say what’s going on before you give me the axe

“We’re finally meeting after all of these years  
But there’s something between us that might be unclear  
Yo, English— you know that you are my best bro  
And when I say no secrets, well, I’d like to be thorough

“What I’m about to say is completely unironic  
Though these beats are so sick that they might need a tonic  
So maybe I should stop beating around the back  
Just sit back, relax, and listen to my rap!

“We met ages ago, over the internet  
I knew I thought you were nice, but I never would’ve bet  
That not far in the future, we’d be best buds  
But now I think I like you way more than I should.”

Dirk paused for a second, licking his dry lips. Of course, Jake was just giving him a blank, utterly bewildered look. As it appeared, he’d have to spell things out completely. Abso-fucking-lutely fantastic. He could feel the blush rising to his cheeks. Then, he took another deep breath and started again.

“They told me about love but then I fell down in it  
They warned me, dog, and all these feelings got a limit  
The thing in my chest is beating, ‘dokidoki’  
I need you like you’re air, but I think I’m choking

“Every time I see a line of green flash up in my ‘logs  
My heart jumps up to my throat like it’s a fucking frog  
All these emotions, breaking my head, tick-tock  
My pulse is out of meter, and you’re smashing my clock

“So, Jake, here is my heart; it’s for you to possess  
From now on I’m a pony and you’ve got my harness  
I’d be your puppet to manipulate, tied up in your strings  
But still feeling as free, as if I had wings

“So I’m the Hero of Heart  
And you’re the Hero of Hope,  
No romance needs to start  
Yet as the both of us grope  
For another definition, to this mission,  
So I hope to be your sweetheart, can I have your permission?”

Dirk caught a few quiet, nervous breaths as the beat ended. It wasn’t too long before the volcano actually started to rumble— the ledge that they were on was still a ways to go from the top.

Stumbling from the ground’s vibrations, one very confused, emotionally mixed-up Jake English began to head towards the place where he would ascend to the peak. However, Dirk didn’t move.

“Dirk!” Jake exclaimed, extending his hand. “Please,  come on! There’s no time to faff around!”

Seeing that Jake wouldn’t move until he did, Dirk scrapped his original plan of waiting until Jake gave him an answer to his question. Jake’s life wasn’t something he wanted to play with, especially since he didn’t have any extra lives left after dying on Prospit. He accepted the hand and, together, they climbed the rest of the way up to the mountain’s peak.

Stumbling onto the plateau at the top, Jake gazed up at the entrance, still a fair twenty feet above his head. He gawped, as he hadn’t expected this great a distance. Neither had Strider, but Dirk was already working on constructing a staircase of sorts with nearby boulders. He got barely ten feet up before having to stop.

“I can’t maneuver very well; there isn’t much space up here,” Dirk informed Jake, setting his AR to create more boulders. The immediate area was out. “Get up on the rocks, I’ll give you a boost up from my shoulders. It’ll be safer for the both of us if you go.”

“But… you’ll make it in, too?” Jake’s worried green eyes tugged at Dirk’s heartstrings. “Right behind me?”

“I should be there in fifteen, twenty minutes tops,” Dirk reassured him, grunting with the effort of lifting Jake as the smaller boy stood on his shoulders.

Jake hesitated for a split second, catching Dirk’s eyes again, before he jumped and entered the Incipisphere.

Now that Jake’s safety was relatively assured (save he didn’t get killed by brutal beasts upon his arrival to his planet), Dirk focused his energies into making the staircase. They were large steps, at least two feet in height each, but Dirk was certain he could manage that.

Ascending the staircase, Dirk was acutely aware of the ground’s trembling increasing in magnitude. The already unsteady makeshift staircase was wobbling. And then, Dirk was hit with an abnormally strong tremor, which sent his staircase crashing to the ground and his body careening down the side of the mountain.

Curling up on himself in a way that would offer him the most protection (or at least the least painful death), Dirk thought to himself, “Dave warned you about the stairs, bro. He told you, dog.”

But the very last things to cross his mind were green eyes, buck teeth, and a dorky accent.

Then, he was crushed by his own inertia crashing into a slab of stone and smothered by falling debris and volcanic lava.

There was no light.

XXX(Scene Change)XXX

Jake English was waiting. And waiting. And waiting.

He spent hours in this fashion, waiting at the exit of the one-way portal through which he had come. It was ironic, how he’d spent years yearning to get off Hellmurder Island, and yet here he was, trying to get back to it. Confound it all, he wanted (no, needed) to find out what happened to Dirk. After all, he finally had the answer to Dirk’s question.

“Jake?” a voice came from behind him. Startled and surprised, he turned around to see Jane.

“Jane! Fancy meeting you here!” Jake exclaimed.

“You really must sharpen your awareness,” Jane frowned. “I’ve been standing right behind you for the last five minutes. You really must be more careful; someone could have hurt you!”

“Ah, I’m sorry,” Jake bit his lip. “It’s just that I’m a bit worried about Strider. He said he’d be here with me in twenty minutes, but it’s already been three hours and I still haven’t seen hide nor hair of him.”

“I tried pestering him too,” Jane frowned. “I was actually going to ask you if you knew if he was okay… his Auto Responder isn’t even replying!”

Jake tried not to think about his best bro crushed under enough rocks to break his virtually indestructible glasses.

“I think that maybe it’s possible that the portal dumped him on his own world, but Roxy’s his server and even she can’t see him anymore,” Jane’s Worry Meter began to shoot up exponentially. “It’s like there’s this giant static wall and we can’t get through to him!”

Jake swallowed the lump in his throat.

“Then I guess we’ll have to take a portal to his world and find out,” Jake stood. “I won’t rest until I find out what happened.”

He still had a question to answer.

——-Bonus——-

Dirk Strider sat up and groaned. Fuck, what happened to his head? He collapsed back on the rocky, red ground and tried to gather his thoughts.

Oh. That’s right; he was dead.

Now he was his dream self, his “extra life”. No more screw-ups allowed or game over. He was already off Derse, having anticipated such an event eventually, so at least that was good.

The next thing he tried to do was turn on his electronics— no dice. Something about this world seemed to suck all the electricity out of everything. Fuck. It was going to be a tough game, with nothing but his sword and some Fancy Santas to help him through. But didn’t they save the toughest worlds for the best players? What was he doing—

Oh.

OH.

He looked down at the Heart insignia on his chest, the poufy pants on his legs, and the cape that trailed behind him.

That explained a lot.

Dirk sighed exasperatedly and headed off to find out what his quest was.

He’d have to get off this forsaken planet if he wanted to contact his friends.


End file.
